Going dark

Hey guys! I'll be spending the next few days in Toronto (I'm here now, after a long ass bus ride yesterday.) I'm taking a bit of a break until probably Tuesday at the earliest (but I am doing a little something for BMR, so look out for that.)

What's really exiting is I'll get to meet some of the crazed fans drunken idiots overall cool folks who chill with me over at Pension Plan Puppets.

Loser League? for reals?

Well, that was an unqualified failcake. The loser league--powered by Yahoo!--that I totally forgot about is finally finished.(click to enlarge the final standings)

As you can see, this was the league that everyone forgot existed. However, I am a woman of my word, so when I say:

Now, the person who actually wins the league will receive not only his or her choice LOLeaf, but will receive the entire series (including comments) of his/her choice lovingly bound (read: stapled together).

they will get it. So, whoever was running TheMightySockKickers (I think it was Jared), lemme know which LOLeafs and which series you want, and mailing address, so I can send it out.

Friday Youtube Yoinkage April 24, 2009

Today's theme is dedications to various players. These are clips that I dedicate players.

Clip one: The Tick suddenly discovers he has a nice mustache. I imagine Ian White went through this clip, word for word:


clip two: "total eclipse of the heart", Dedicated to Matt Stajan ("turn around, bright eyes...") as I imagine John (Fuckin) Mitchell would sing it (naturally, lyrics NSFW):



clip three:Watching the final Habs/Bruins game Wednesday night, for some reason I thought of the song "Teenage Dirtbag" by Wheatus. This makes no sense if you know that Carey Price is a huge George Strait fan, but bear with me.

Czech Mates, or, LD fills out a request

(one last night, during a canucks game, those who watching --including Eyebleaf-- started talking about slashfic. I discovered that there was no slash fic about Tomas Kaberle. This makes no sense to me, as he's a very attractive man. Therefore, I set to right this.

The setting for this particular story--don't worry, it's totally PG!--is Kubina and Kaberle rooming together on the road. It is told in Kubina's perspective)

Tomas has been sad for do long. Since Bryan McCabe and Mats Sundin left the team, he's seemed so distant. When he plays, it's like his head isn't in the game anymore. It breaks my heart to see him like that. Sure, maybe I haven't been in Toronto as long as he has, but I think I could be his friend.

I finally worked up the courage to ask him what was the matter one night on a Western road trip with the team. "Kabbie", I said, "Why are you so sad?" "Sad?" he replied, "why would I be sad? I play for Maple Leafs, I love Toronto, I make cross ice pass like you won't believe. Why would I be sad?" I rolled my eyes, "Kabbie, I can hear you listening to Simple Plan and crying softly at night when you think nobody can hear you. When you're on the ice, your look like your head is somewhere else. Your eyes are the saddest eyes I have ever seen. I'm your friend, Tomas, you can say--"
"--No. Just...no. I'm FINE Pavel, just leave me alone."

With that, Kabbie shut off his light and tried to sleep. I lied awake, wondering what I should do now. I could tell he was upset, but he didn't want to talk about it. I wondered what I could say to get him to open up when I heard him mutter in our native Czech, "ohhh...mmm...get in my mouth you big, sloppy muffin."

What the hell? Sloppy? well, I suppose I go a while in between haircuts and shaves. Kabbie murmured again, "Oh, you're so delicious and warm and soft in my mouth. I love you muffin."

I couldn't sleep for the rest of the night.

The next day at practice, my legs felt like they were made of lead. It felt like it would never end. After practice, Tomas asked me "Pavel, what's wrong? you looked like you were made of mud out there today." I told him about the previous night and how confused it made me feel.

He gave me an odd look. "Muffins? what's to be confused about, Pavel? I love muffins--you know, the little cake thingys with the crunchy tops? Sometimes they have chocolate chips or blueberries or--"

I cut in, "I know what a muffin is, Tomas."

Kabbie continued. "They are so warm and delicious. I really like muffins."

There was an awkward pause as I tried to find my next words. "oh", I said. All I could say was "oh."

Friday Youtube Yoinkage: April 17, 2009

Today's theme is ridiculous tribute videos: PLAYOFFS!!!!1 edition!
clip one: The fact I love listening to this "go Habs Go" aprody of Flo Rida's "Low" may mean that my Leafs Fandom may be in question:




Clip two: A bear shows what looks like Ron Jeremy why you should never tuck in your jersey:


Clip three:
I wanted to put something about the Blue Jackets, since it's their first time in the PLAYOFFS!!!!!1 EVER and all. A search on youtube revealed this "Carry the Flag" vid. It's so dramatic and suc, you'd never know it was for the Blue Jackets

Maple Leafs Chat: The Wonders of Livejournal

***Welcome to the Official Chat Room of the Toronto Maple Leafs***

Schenn_sational: You guys, I can’t believe the season’s already over!
StempOfApproval: Yeah, it feels like I just got here—
Schenn_sational: Wait—who the hell are you?
StempOfApproval: Dammit, not this crap again.
Stajan_Not_cajun: OH. MY. GOD. YOU GUYS….
White_Lightning: What? Did you find more cute kitty pictures?
StempOfApproval: Matty does like cute kittys
Stajan_Not_cajun: You guys, I was on my LiveJournal today and—
Schenn_sational: Wait—Matt, you have a LiveJournal account?
StempOfApproval: What are you, a 14 year old girl trapped in a grown man’s body?
Stajan_Not_cajun: Well, where else am I gonna post my Twilight slashfic, SMARTASS? But you wouldn’t believe something I found! It’s about Luke…
Schenn_sational: What?
Stajan_Not_cajun: …and your brother…
Stajan_Not_cajun: …doing inappropriate things...oh my, this is …NOT SAFE FOR WORK AT ALL
White_Lightning: Like, lighting shit on fire inappropriate? Or what?
StempOfApproval: Are you guys getting drunk and yelling at cars like the Staals?
Stajan_Not_cajun: Oh no…Luke, this is hard to ask, but…do you regularly fuck your brother?
Schenn_sational: Dude, didn’t you say this a FICTION site? I mean, obviously, I don’t fuck my brother…
StempOfApproval: well, you could be. In theory…
Schenn_sational: but this isn’t true! It’s just some story! Brayden isn’t even of age there!
StempOfApproval: Oh yeah…Heaven forbid a little thing like age get in the way of gay incest! You know, your SCHENNCEST
Stajan_Not_cajun: Schenncest? It sounds like some 3 day festival featuring Explosions in the Sky and Kings of Leon.
White_Lightning: Why your brother, Schenner? Like, I bet you could walk into any gay bar in Toronto and have your pick of dudes.
Schenn_sational: Dangit, I am not gay!
White_Lightning: There’s nothing wrong with that, Luke. I mean, just based on numbers there have to be some guys in the NHL who are gay or bi. There’s what, over 700 players? You mean to say NOBODY is gay?
Schenn_sational: Gah, you guys! This is just some stupid story on the Internet! It’s not REAL! Matt, help me out here!
Stajan_Not_cajun: ….
Stajan_Not_cajun: OMIGOD I’M IN IT TOO!
Stajan_Not_cajun: Phew! At least I’m not fucking anyone.
StempOfApproval: Don’t worry Schenner, we’re just giving you shit.
White_Lightning: Yeah, you’re a popular guy, so people are gonna write weird stuff about you. It’s ok
StempOfApproval: Yeah, it’s not like you’re writing slashfic about you and your brother, right?
White_Lightning: Yeah, at least you’re not writing this kinda crap
White_Lightning: Oh…Sorry Matt.
Stajan_Not_cajun:

Edward was so bored with all these idiot mortals. He was so much better, than they were, and yet he kept wanting more to do with them. Oh well. At least in the deep, damp woods he could be more himself. “God”, Edward thought to himself, “I’m so pretty and sparkly and full of angst. I’m so hot and broody” Suddenly, there was a rustling noise. From behind a bush came Slash, the world famous guitarist for Guns N’ Roses. The two men stared at each other for what seemed like eternity. Edward felt a stirring inside of himself that he had never felt before with anyone else. The older man instantly understood. Slash approached Edward and with a grin, he said, “Kid, welcome to the jungle.”

"Oh", said Edward. All he could say was "oh."

Stajan_Not_cajun: oops wrong window lol.

Friday Youtube Yoinkage April 10, 2009

You know, it's been a rough season for Leafs fans. Today's theme for the Youtube Yoinkage is things that would make next season awesome even if the Leafs continue sucking.

Clip/suggestions one: goalie dance offs:


clip/suggestion two:Dirty Dancing, as demonstrated by two high school guys who kinda look like Schenn/Tlusty/Pogge hybrids


Clip/suggestion three: More Beer. Alcohol always soothes...(clip is the Lego version of the Beer Song)