An Open Letter to the Random Leaf on the Maple Leafs website

(UPDATE: DAMMIT, SCHENN)
I know I've seen you on the Maple Leafs website before, but you still bug me:

WHO ARE YOU, RANDOM LEAF? I think I have seen you identified as "Luke Schenn", but it just can't be. Look at that haircut. I'd expect that from someone like Rickard Wallin or maybe Nikolai Kulemin, but not Luke Schenn. Luke would never get such an emo haircut. And look at that soul patch! The Leafs have not seen a soul patch worth mentioning since the days of Trevor Kidd (and even then it was more along the lines of "the hell is on his face?")

And what the HELL are you trying to prove, stick behind your head, eyes half open. Are you trying to challenge me to a fight, or hit on me? I don't understand you, random Leaf, but maybe that's for the best. Maybe it's better that I don't understand a man who makes his chin look like a porn star's pubic mound.

See you in September,

LD

Marketing Type People have my email?

So I checked my email this morning and among the replies to witty comments on other blogs and Indians wanting to increase my manhood, I got a rather long email from Michael Braun. Apparently Michael is some sort of media type (he had an address and such for ICED media, which may be legit but I have been too lazy to look up.) Basically it was telling me stuff I already knew about "The Love Guru"--Mike Myers, Justin Timberlake's "Quebec pizaa like in da porno!", blah blah blah. but then I saw this bit:


Also, the NHL has produced their own trailer for the movie. Check out the link and the article below. And let me know if you post anything so we can send it off to Paramount and Mike Myers (who is very involved in the online marketing of this movie). And please be sure to link to the youtube channel for The Love Guru for exclusive video content.


Thanks!
For more exclusive video: www.youtube.com/theloveguru
http://www.nhl.tv/team/console.jsp?catid=3&id=16368

It then goes on to give a brief summary of the movie plot, people in it, whatever (although the line "Mike Myers in his first original character since Austin Powers" was kind of funny.) The email then goes on to talk about how the NHL "provided Myers and Paramount Pictures unprecedented access and rights, including the use of NHL marks and NHL game action footage, permission and facilitation to film inside NHL arenas, and guest appearances by NHL players and the Stanley Cup, the most revered trophy in all professional sports, marking its first starring turn in a feature film." Then it goes on (it's a long email) and talks about how the NHL marketing folks are going to push this movie a lot and offer exclusive content and retail activations on NHL.com "including “The Love Guru” advice column, cast player faux biographies, blogs and behind-the-scenes video clips and photo galleries."

While I'm all for eth NHL open up its marketing to increase fan bases, I have two questions, especially for fellow Leafs-bloggers (even though other folks can answer if desired:
1) Am I the only one who got this email, or was it some sort of spamming thing?
2) When the hell did I become a legit blogger? As in legit enough to get exclusive emails about stuff that's been leaked in the internet for several months?

The most interesting part came near the end, with this bit:


In 2006, the NHL signed with the William Morris Agency, which resulted in an integrated marketing campaign with Warner Bros. to promote the 2007 blockbuster feature film, “300.”

So for all of you wondering about the out-of-place, Homoerotic Spartan at the Sens game, I think I found an answer. Ithas also added "bring a gay pride flag to an NHL game" to my lsit of thing to do before I die.

Ok, for going through such a wordy post, here's some nice Youtubeage of TRULY homoerotic versions of 300: