Tuesday, April 14, 2009

Maple Leafs Chat: The Wonders of Livejournal

***Welcome to the Official Chat Room of the Toronto Maple Leafs***

Schenn_sational: You guys, I can’t believe the season’s already over!
StempOfApproval: Yeah, it feels like I just got here—
Schenn_sational: Wait—who the hell are you?
StempOfApproval: Dammit, not this crap again.
Stajan_Not_cajun: OH. MY. GOD. YOU GUYS….
White_Lightning: What? Did you find more cute kitty pictures?
StempOfApproval: Matty does like cute kittys
Stajan_Not_cajun: You guys, I was on my LiveJournal today and—
Schenn_sational: Wait—Matt, you have a LiveJournal account?
StempOfApproval: What are you, a 14 year old girl trapped in a grown man’s body?
Stajan_Not_cajun: Well, where else am I gonna post my Twilight slashfic, SMARTASS? But you wouldn’t believe something I found! It’s about Luke…
Schenn_sational: What?
Stajan_Not_cajun: …and your brother…
Stajan_Not_cajun: …doing inappropriate things...oh my, this is …NOT SAFE FOR WORK AT ALL
White_Lightning: Like, lighting shit on fire inappropriate? Or what?
StempOfApproval: Are you guys getting drunk and yelling at cars like the Staals?
Stajan_Not_cajun: Oh no…Luke, this is hard to ask, but…do you regularly fuck your brother?
Schenn_sational: Dude, didn’t you say this a FICTION site? I mean, obviously, I don’t fuck my brother…
StempOfApproval: well, you could be. In theory…
Schenn_sational: but this isn’t true! It’s just some story! Brayden isn’t even of age there!
StempOfApproval: Oh yeah…Heaven forbid a little thing like age get in the way of gay incest! You know, your SCHENNCEST
Stajan_Not_cajun: Schenncest? It sounds like some 3 day festival featuring Explosions in the Sky and Kings of Leon.
White_Lightning: Why your brother, Schenner? Like, I bet you could walk into any gay bar in Toronto and have your pick of dudes.
Schenn_sational: Dangit, I am not gay!
White_Lightning: There’s nothing wrong with that, Luke. I mean, just based on numbers there have to be some guys in the NHL who are gay or bi. There’s what, over 700 players? You mean to say NOBODY is gay?
Schenn_sational: Gah, you guys! This is just some stupid story on the Internet! It’s not REAL! Matt, help me out here!
Stajan_Not_cajun: ….
Stajan_Not_cajun: OMIGOD I’M IN IT TOO!
Stajan_Not_cajun: Phew! At least I’m not fucking anyone.
StempOfApproval: Don’t worry Schenner, we’re just giving you shit.
White_Lightning: Yeah, you’re a popular guy, so people are gonna write weird stuff about you. It’s ok
StempOfApproval: Yeah, it’s not like you’re writing slashfic about you and your brother, right?
White_Lightning: Yeah, at least you’re not writing this kinda crap
White_Lightning: Oh…Sorry Matt.

Edward was so bored with all these idiot mortals. He was so much better, than they were, and yet he kept wanting more to do with them. Oh well. At least in the deep, damp woods he could be more himself. “God”, Edward thought to himself, “I’m so pretty and sparkly and full of angst. I’m so hot and broody” Suddenly, there was a rustling noise. From behind a bush came Slash, the world famous guitarist for Guns N’ Roses. The two men stared at each other for what seemed like eternity. Edward felt a stirring inside of himself that he had never felt before with anyone else. The older man instantly understood. Slash approached Edward and with a grin, he said, “Kid, welcome to the jungle.”

"Oh", said Edward. All he could say was "oh."

Stajan_Not_cajun: oops wrong window lol.


Scott Baker said...

Well played, madam. Well played.

Loser Domi said...

scott, thanks for coming in! and thanks!

tugboats and arson said...

i love you. however i'm terrified to even click on that link to schenncest...

Irene Tanga said...

I think Stajan has been suggesting some reading to Wellwood...

from this article on wellwood:


``I read everything. I change my mind all the time. Sometimes I don't get through the books, but I like buying them. I'll read fantasy novels. I tried to read Twilight and I couldn't read that. My favourite author right now? I like Michael Ignatieff.''

also worth noting is his favourite author.

Loser Domi said...

tugboats: It's not for the weak of heart. It is rather saucy

Irene: I kinda respect Wellwood for not hopping on the Twilight train.


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