Monday, November 24, 2008

Maple Leafs Chat: Stajan Needs a BFF

***Welcome to Maple Leafs Chat***
StajanNotCajun: You guys…
***StajanNotCajun’s status is now “I has a major sad”***
StajanNotCajun: Alex, Carlo, I miss you guys so much already! Why do all my friends keep getting traded?
FullSteenAhead: We’ll keep in touch, Matty . We’re good friends
Coco_puffs: I’mma be honest, I’m not good at facebook and stuff like that. It’s nothing personal Matt.
StajanNotCajun: This sucks so hard. St Louis might as well be in Russia or something. I mean, WEST conference? That’s like 3 times zones away
FullSteenAhead: I’m going to miss the Family Guy marathons and all the times your girlfriend “Accidentally” loaded your iPod full of Beyonce music
StajanNotCajun: I’m going to miss the pillow fights, even though you guys cheated all the time
White Lightning: How the fuck do you cheat at a pillow fight?
Coco_puffs: I’m going to miss filling Whitey’s skates with shaving cream and baloney…man, that feels like it was just yesterday
White_lightning : That was yesterday, you asshole!
Coco_puffs: It wasn’t me this time! I swear
White_lightning : Aww…I couldn’t stay mad at you…you’re like a big, cuddly splodey-boned Eye-talian teddy bear
Coco_puffs: Matt …maybe you should have auditions for your new BFF
StajanNotCajun: You mean like “the Bachelor” but with me looking for dudes?
FullSteenAhead: Yeah! You could try to find some new best friends
StajanNotCajun: Isn’t that just like if your kid’s puppy dies and you buy a new puppy without them knowing?
Coco_puffs: not really since you knew about it ahead of time
StajanNotCajun: What do you want me to do? Hand out roses or something?
FullSteenAhead: you could hand out beers.

**welcome to Find Stajan a New BFF Chat room***
FullSteenAhead: SO what kind of skills could you bring to the relationship?
Trusty_tlusty: mad BFF skillz… I haz dem
StajanNotCajun: such as…?
Trusty_tlusty: I heartz peellow fights n being in ur room eeting ur chocklets
StajanNotCajun: Ok, that’s always a plus.
Trusty_Tlusty : i haz mad photo skillzz 2. i'z full of mad skillz
*** Trusty_tlusty has just been sent down to the Marlies***
StajanNotCajun: Well, shit.
Shake_n_blake: I could be your friend, Matt! We have lots in common
StajanNotCajun: like what?
Shake_n_blake: like we both like hockey…and…uhhh…we’re really pale…and uhhh….I like stuff. DO you like…stuff?
StajanNotCajun: I’ll think about it, ok?
Tosking_Heads: The Vesa would like to be BFFs with you, MattStajan. The Vesa and MattStajan could be shopping buddies and stay up all night giggling and doing each other’s hair
StajanNotCajun: Uhhhh…ok.
White_lightning : Hey Matt, uhhh….
StajanNotCajun: yeah Ian?
White_lightning : Could I be your BFF? I mean, It's hard to believe…That I couldn't see you were always there beside me, you know, Thought I was alone With no one to hold—
StajanNotCajun: Dude, are you quoting “High School Musical” at me?
White_lightning : NO! I’d never do anything do wussy and stupid! Besides, how’d you even KNOW it was High School Musical, you a pussy or something?
StajanNotCajun: I wouldn’t, but I guess I just got lucky and guessed. It’s not like I’ve seen all of them seventeen times each or anything!
White_lightning : And I totally don’t fall asleep to the songs playing on a loop every night, wuss.
StajanNotCajun: you suck!
White_lightning : no, YOU suck!
StajanNotCajun: /lingering tension…


Jaredoflondon said...

Luke Schenn and Matt Stajan should so be BFFs

Miss. Scarlett said...

I'm sorry Stajan, I didn't want to be the one to tell you this but I think it might be you.

Loser Domi said...

Jared, that would be pretty awesome, weren't Stajan and Mitchell pretty close in the preseason games?

sherry, what did Stajan do wrong? poor thing...

Navin Vaswani (@eyebleaf) said...

I love how Vesa refers to himself as "The Vesa."

Anonymous said...

LD I know its all about the humour. This post was exactly what I was waiting to read, made my day after a long day at work.

And dont worry I think Matt will find... Companionship... With those fuck me eyes (as you so nicely put it) it shouldnt take him long, who could resist? But I do suspect he's crying himself to sleep tonight.

Anonymous said...

I was definitely hoping for a post like this too. thanks ;)

Jaredoflondon said...

Wellwood and Steen replaced by Schenn and Mitchell, who would have thought Stajan was into butch.

blurr1974 said...

the blurr is laughing at yer internetz...

Anonymous said...

Domi, you're hilarious.

The names kill me. Kill me dead.

With laughter.

Anonymous said...

This is the first time I read your blog, but definitely not the last. The Leafs Chat is a brilliant idea.

Loser Domi said...

eyebleaf: Vesa probably does think of himself in the third person like that

rj, irene, jared (2), and blurr I'm glad I could be of service. And Matt is probably still crying into his pillow right now

pamplemouse: have you been here before? I think you have

grrreg: Welcome to the site! I'm glad you enjoyed it! feel free to come back anytime!

Anonymous said...

I don't know that I've commented her before, but I do lurk from time to time.

elise said...

I hear Paris Hilton is looking for a new BFF too

Loser Domi said...

elise, that's a great idea!


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