Thursday, December 3, 2009

Maple Leafs Chat: Monster's Hospital

***Welcome to Montreal Hospital chat room!***
I_Ron_Butterfly: Hey guys, I really appreciate that you could come out here to visit Jonas.
NOT_BOBBY: Sure thing Coach. Gussy’s a great guy.
KesselRun81Parsecs: He’s a teammate AND a friend.
Buttons_and_Beauch: Wait, ‘ow do we know where he is?
I_Ron_Butterfly: I don’t have a clue, but I can ask this admin secretary woman where he is. Excuse me, I’m looking for a Jonas Gustavsson. I’m his coach, Ron Wilson.
Admin_Secretary: Let me check…Oh, we just moved him into pediatrics.
I_Ron_Butterfly: Why the Hell is he in pediatrics?
NOT_BOBBY: But he’s like six-three!
Buttons_and_Beauch: He’s 25!
Admin_Secretary: Apparently, they thought he was a malnourished teenager or something.
KesselRun81Parsecs: Well, he is pretty scrawny
Admin_Secretary: He’s in room 223.
***Welcome to Room 223!***
Monsters_Ball: Hey guys!
I_Ron_Butterfly: Jonas, are you feeling any better?
Monsters_Ball: I’m kind of tired, but I guess I’ll be ok.
KesselRun81Parsecs: I brought you what always makes me feel better: some ginger ale and a coloring book!
Monsters_Ball: Wow, Spiderman! Thanks. But all I have to color with is this blue pen I swiped from a nurse.
Buttons_and_Beauch: That’s why I got you zese markers, cuz Phil didn’t tink of dat.
KesselRun81Parsecs: Oh geez, I’m such a stooge!
NOT_BOBBY: And I got you…uh, it’s a newspaper. But maybe you can fold the pages into a bitchin’ pirate hat!
Monsters_Ball: You guys might want to keep it down. The girl I share the room with has cancer and she’s trying to sleep. Poor little Ava, she’s just seven.
Ava_CancerKid: It’s ok mister goalie man, I’m awake. Can I say hi to your friends?
KesselRun81Parsecs: Hi, Ava. I had a cancer once. Right in my testiculars, donchaknow,
I_Ron_Butterfly: I don’t think that’s an appropriate story for a seven year old girl, Phil.
Buttons_and_Beauch: Is dere anyting we can do to ‘elp either of you?
Monsters_Ball: I am fine, except I would really like a bed I can fit in. These pediatric beds only fit me if I chop off my legs at the knee. It’s annoying.
Ava_CancerKid: Can you hockey guys make it so that I don’t have cancer anymore?
NOT_BOBBY: I can punch your cancer out!
I_Ron_Butterfly: Colton, you can’t punch out cancer! You’re not that tough.
NOT_BOBBY: Awwwww, nuts! I wanted to punch someone out.
***Tosking_Heads, brandishing a bottle in a paper bag, has entered the chat room!***
I_Ron_Butterfly: Well, crap. Looks like Toskala found out where we were.
Buttons_and_Beauch: Tosk, you look like you haven’t slept in a few days.
KesselRun81Parsecs: Or shaved for a week.
NOT_BOBBY: Or showered in a month.
Monsters_Ball: Oh, Hallo, Toskala. I like seeing you! How are you?
Tosking_Heads: The Vesssha hatsssh you shooo mush.
Tosking_Heads: /falls down
I_Ron_Butterfly: Wait a second--this isn’t even alcohol in this bottle. It’s just iced tea.
Tosking_Heads: Booshe makes my Vesha sho bloated.
Monsters_Ball: But the iced tea will keep you up all night.
Tosking_Heads: I knowsh.


Fergus30 said...

Aww, poor Tosky!

I enjoyed your use of the French Canadian accent, dere.

galaxysong9 said...

I lol'd. And MAN is Jonas skinny. And, uh, shirtless.

I love the Leafs Chats. :D

bored_of_law said...

poor monster!

your posts are hilarious!

Kevin said...

Stupid Vesa... iced tea is for kids

Loser Domi said...

Heather Ferguson, Galaxysong9, and Tess: Welcome, all of you! I'm glad you liked it.

Space Weed: he is odd

KP said...

How did Vesa know to go the pediatric ward?

...unless he was already there...!

Anonymous said...

I can't believe what a total fucking loser you are. You're a joke man!


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