Hello Operator...it's the Penguins

(SCENE: SIDNEY CROSBY, JORDAN STAAL and MARC-ANDRE FLEURY are all sitting in a hotel room in Detroit.)

FLEURY: Man, I’m so bored! What do we do in Detroit for fun?

CROSBY: I dunno. We could…go bowling?

STAAL: Nah.

FLEURY: We could throw water balloons at cars.

CROSBY: I don’t think the drivers would like that much.

STAAL: We could prank call people.

CROSBY: Isn’t that illegal?

STAAL: (as he takes hotel phone and dials a random number) Maybe. (hands phone to CROSBY) Ok, just make up a fake name.

CROSBY: (in phone) Uh, hi. This is Fakey Fakename…erton. Uhhh… (to STAAL and FLEURY) What do I do now?

FLEURY: Ask if dere refrigerator is running!

CROSBY: Is you refrigerator malfunctioning?

ANSWERER: Actually, Yes, it has been for the past two GODDAMN WEEKS and NONE of you lazy sonsaBITCHES can seem to get off your asses come and take a look at…

STAAL: Just hang up, just hang up (CROSBY hangs up the phone) Ooh, DUDE! Gimme the phone, I got a great one! (dials number) It’s ringing…ringing…Hello, is this the residence of Eric Staal?

ERIC STAAL: Uh, yeah, Eric speaking. Why may I ask are you calling?

JORDAN STAAL: I’m from the Pittsburgh Penguins and it seems your brother Jordan just broke his ankle and we were wondering if you’d come in and substitute.

ERIC STAAL:…seriously?

JORDAN STAAL: No way, I’m just FOOLING with ya, man! (hangs up phone and all three laugh hysterically)

FLEURY: I got good one! (takes phone and dials number) Hello, I, uh, (giggles) Sidney Crosby. And if you (giggles) hit self on head with da phone (giggles) I give you a million dollars.

FEMALE ANSWERER: You don’t sound anything like Sidney Crosby!

FLEURY: I have a bad hallergies. (hangs up) She didn’t fall for it. So disappointing.

CROSBY: Wait guys, I got one. (CROSBY takes phone and dials a number. FLEURY’s cell phone rings)

FLEURY: Allo?

STAAL: Sid, you can’t prank call somebody when they’re in the room with you. It just doesn’t work.

CROSBY: Aw, shucks.