FReaky Friday Youtube Yoinkage, February 29, 2008

Since it's a leap year day today, I feel like I should do something for it, but I don't have anything. Instead, this week's FYY is all about reactions to the trade deadline action

Reaction one: Kool and the Gang tells us how to do it:


Reaction two: "Fire Water Burn" From Bloodhound Gang. Lots of Leafs fans have been singing this one for months now:


Reaction three: clips from "Happy Gilmore"

Leafer Madness, Part 8

Disclaimers part 1 part 2 part 3 part 4 part 5 part 6 part 7

SCENE: BELL is lying in a tree in wait with grenades, a crossbow and his original gun.

BELL: Come out, come out, wherever you are… (KABERLE and COLAIACOVO enter his field of vision. BELL throws two grenades at the pair. They land and explode. KABERLE somehow escapes the blast, but COLAIACOVO does not. DEATH appears)
DEATH: I HAVE COME FOR—AH, Christ, it’s you again!
COLAIACOVO: I challenge you to Candyland, motherfucker!
DEATH: Another one with the Candyland…fine, I’ll do it. (They are transported to a rocky beach where there is a Candyland board set up They sit down and start playing.)
COLAIACOVO: So…I had a friend who was playing you at Risk. How did he do?
DEATH: He put up a good fight, but he fell victim to one of the classic blunders! The most famous—never get involved in a land war in Asia.
COLAIACOVO: Oh. Ok.
DEATH: Your other friend, Andy, who challenged me to Candyland, he seemed…oh, what’s the word?
COLAIACOVO: Not just slow, but slooooooow, you know what I mean? Woz was “special” to me—but not in a gay way. He was…“special” as in riding the short bus, licking windows, kinda special. I mean, this one time, I saw him stopped at a stop sign, and he waited for, like, twenty minutes.
DEATH: What was he waiting for?
COLAIACOVO: He was waiting for it to say “Go” [note: something similar to this happened to a friend and me once, and it was hilarious, but in our defence, we were stoned at the time.]
DEATH: Wow. That is rather slow. It’s slower than Molasses Swamp, where you’ve just ended up.
COLAIACOVO: Aw, sonovabitch.
DEATH: And it appears, Carlo, that I have drawn the purple square
COLAIACOVO: Dammit. I knew I should have picked Battleship.

LOLeafs, Hotlanta edition

To the windooooooowwwww....

To the wall!

Gettin' Crunk in HOTlanta!

(NOTE: I tried to post this as a diary over at Pension Plan Puppets, but for some reason that site has never liked my account. Instead I' posting this over here)

With condolences to PPP, I figured I'd put up a game preview type-thingy for tonight against the Thrashers.

Look, I'll be honest--I've never done this, and I know that I have no idea what the hell I'm doing. That being said...wait a minute--not knowing what I'm talking about doesn't really separate me from lots of other media-types, does it? HOWEVEAH, the show must go on.

Hot sexxy Leafs to watch (yeah, totally stolen from Four Habs Fans, but it's the best I could do):
*Alex Steen just signed to a $3.4-million, two-year contract extension Job security could have him feeling pretty groovy.
*Mats Sundin--look, with all the trading rumo(u)rs going around, he's probably so annoyed and stressed out, he's ready to choke a bitch

sexy HOTLANTA Thrashers to watch:
*Ilya Kovalchuk--it's always Kovalchuk to watch
*Tobias Enstrom--leads his team in assists

So, leave your SPG units and whatever else you wish in the comments

Loser domi SPG:
shot: Tucker
penalty: McCabe
goal: STAJAN !!

Also, olbigatory Lil' John video. I also feel lonely and need someone to talk to sometimes:

Firday YouTube Yoinkage, February 22, 2008

That's right, everyone: in between reading about prostitutes, I'm also listening to the Leafs game and...mailing in the FYY.
This week's theme is Hockey having Fun with the Press

Thanks to HLOG, I stumbled upon the audio diaries of Evgeni Malkin and have been giggling and spouting "PEPPER!" as a result. Here’s the one where he talks about his car commercial. I thought Malkin was the best acting one—he conveys such power and strength without saying a word. The audio is here.

This one is just classic: Ovie gets a pie in the face. His reaction is coddamn priceless. I heard someone compare him to a Cirque du Soleil person, which strangely fits.


This third clip is a great oldie from Brendan Shanahan. The subtitles just add to it and make it even better:

Kaberle's Diary: Why I Won't Wave my No Trade Clause

(For additional fun, read aloud in a generic Eastern European accent.)

Fools! I’ll destroy them all! No trade clauses are nice things to have, especially you got deep stuff like me to do. I’m not going to go into much details, but let’s just say the Tesla ain’t gonna have shit on me. I make him look like Tinker toys.

I wonder if media douches really think that I’d hang around here if I didn’t have something else going on? You all thought I’d be putting up with Bryan “Anchorman” McCabe and PaVEL Fucking Kubina just because I like them? But it is ok, media types accept me saying “Oh, I love this town, I am proud to wear Maple Leafs, blahblahblah.” I mean, I have to stay here to follow my projects—do you have any idea how hard it is to move an unfinished VTOL aircraft ? They aren’t exactly light and portable, you know. I can’t just pick up and leave, ‘cause when I go someplace else, people always be asking all these questions like “What’s that loud humming noise? Were did my car go? Why do my teeth glow in the dark?” They won’t understand. They never do.

Fucking František still makes fun of me ever time he can ‘cause he won Stanley Cup. He says to me, “Tomas, let’s you and me make a movie—we can call it ‘2 Kabs 1 Cup!’”

Ah well. Knowing what I have in store for all the douches makes it worth putting up with nimrods.

(Photo credit: Claus Andersen/Getty Images stolen from Yahoo!)

Leafer Madness...

...will be postponed until next week due to midterms, other projects and a whole bunch of other crap. Sorry guys. Feel free to let me have it in the comments, or post your predictions for the winners. To make it up to you, here are some more LoLeafs (original pics stolen, as usual, from Yahoo sports)


and I'm really, really sorry for this one but it had to be made: