Leafer Madness, Part 8

Disclaimers part 1 part 2 part 3 part 4 part 5 part 6 part 7

SCENE: BELL is lying in a tree in wait with grenades, a crossbow and his original gun.

BELL: Come out, come out, wherever you are… (KABERLE and COLAIACOVO enter his field of vision. BELL throws two grenades at the pair. They land and explode. KABERLE somehow escapes the blast, but COLAIACOVO does not. DEATH appears)
DEATH: I HAVE COME FOR—AH, Christ, it’s you again!
COLAIACOVO: I challenge you to Candyland, motherfucker!
DEATH: Another one with the Candyland…fine, I’ll do it. (They are transported to a rocky beach where there is a Candyland board set up They sit down and start playing.)
COLAIACOVO: So…I had a friend who was playing you at Risk. How did he do?
DEATH: He put up a good fight, but he fell victim to one of the classic blunders! The most famous—never get involved in a land war in Asia.
COLAIACOVO: Oh. Ok.
DEATH: Your other friend, Andy, who challenged me to Candyland, he seemed…oh, what’s the word?
COLAIACOVO: Not just slow, but slooooooow, you know what I mean? Woz was “special” to me—but not in a gay way. He was…“special” as in riding the short bus, licking windows, kinda special. I mean, this one time, I saw him stopped at a stop sign, and he waited for, like, twenty minutes.
DEATH: What was he waiting for?
COLAIACOVO: He was waiting for it to say “Go” [note: something similar to this happened to a friend and me once, and it was hilarious, but in our defence, we were stoned at the time.]
DEATH: Wow. That is rather slow. It’s slower than Molasses Swamp, where you’ve just ended up.
COLAIACOVO: Aw, sonovabitch.
DEATH: And it appears, Carlo, that I have drawn the purple square
COLAIACOVO: Dammit. I knew I should have picked Battleship.