Wednesday, January 30, 2008

Leafer Madness Part 5


Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Part 4

(ALEXEI PONIKAROVSKY and NIK ANTROPOV are together in a shed of some sort. )

PONIKAROVSKY: Nik, I am unbelieving that we are must be killing the others.

ANTROPOV: Misfortunately, this is not for great justice, Alexei. As far as I can view, it is like pair of docks—we either kill other people and be monsters or we kill selfs and we run away from problems.

PONIKAROVSKY: You speak of paradox. Not pair of docks. It is only one word.

ANTROPOV: Oh, okay. I always wonder why other peoples talk of pair of docks. I was always like, “why pair of docks? You not talking of seas and oceans.”

PONIKAROVSKY: I am thinking that we should kill selfs and fly to place with nobody else so we can be free.

ANTROPOV: nobody else so we can be free…

PONIKAROVSKY: I see there is rope here. And there are many trees outside.

ANTROPOV: But this. Is. Not. Enooo-uuugh!

PONIKAROVSKY: What you say?

ANTROPOV: It isn’t enough rope for both of us to hang selfs by.

PONIKAROVSKY: oh. Umm…what weapons did you have?

ANTROPOV: I have (checks sack) a whip? Like I’m some Indiana Jones or something. I suppose I could tie it like a rope. What weapon do you have?

PONIKAROVSKY: (checks sack) What’s this? Fight with binoculars?

ANTROPOV: It really is better to kill selfs now.

(they go through the adequate preparations for hanging themselves in the trees, except ANTROPOV is using his whip whereas PONIKAROVSKY is using rope that he found.) PONIKAROVSKY: For make benefit great team of maple leaf! (hangs self)

ANTROPOV: For…Pony! (hangs self) {I got a bright shiny +15 for anyone who knows where this line comes from originally}

(in the forest of the island, WOZNIEWSKI, armed with a hatchet, is wandering alone)

WOZNIEWSKI: Helloooo? Helllooo! (he steps and lands his left foot in a bear trap

WOZNIEWSKI lets out blood-curdling screams. He steps again, dragging his foot still in the bear trap. He manages a few steps and lands his right foot in another bear trap.)

WOZNIEWSKI lets out even more blood curdling screams. He continues crawling, dragging himself on his hands. Somehow, he finds a third bear trap with his right hand)

WOZNIEWSKI: CHIRSTONAPOGO-STICK THIS HURTS! *lets out screams of terrible pain* (at this point he continues moving, dragging himself by his left hand. He continues like this for a short while, until his right hand falls on a land mine, which promptly goes off and finally kills him.) (if you need a visual:

(TUCKER enters a greenhouse in search of another player to eliminate. McCABE, armed with his pistol that he found by BELAK’s body, is also there and hiding behind some boxes as TUCKER enters. )

McCABE: (jumping out into the open) Yippee-ki-yay, motherfucker! ‘Morning, Darcy. (He grabs the sickle out of TUCKER’s hand.)

TUCKER : What did you do that for?

McCABE: I don’t trust you, Then again, I don’t trust anybody here. Did you see Poni and Nik?

TUCKER: Yeah—strung up together all like, From Russia with love or something.

McCABE: You know something? I saw Kilger, too. His throat was slit, like with a sickle or something. You would know about that, wouldn’t you?

TUCKER: …Maybe?

McCABE: You son of a bitch—(kicks TUCKER down to the ground)

TUCKER: What am I supposed to do in this game, Bryan? Invite everyone over for tea? (Secretly grabs taser) I wouldn’t last a minute!

McCABE: That would be a risk I’d be willing to take.

TUCKER: This game is nothing like anything you or I have ever done.

McCABE: How so?

TUCKER: …I want to bathe in a geyser of enemy blood!

McCABE: That hardly sounds sanitary—

TUCKER: Screw sanitary! (attacks McCABE with the taser, and knocks the gun out of his hands)

McCABE: You didn’t have to do that--

TUCKER : Why? You were about to do the same to me. You know Bryan, you should always look on the bright side of life (Fires several shots in to McCABE’s torso, killing him) I used to love you, but I had to kill you. (Leaves the greenhouse.)



Jaredoflondon said...

the only way the woz death could have been better is if he fell into a vat of acid filled with pirahnas.

Oh yes, and for the +15, thats a lovely and hilarious "looking for group" reference.

PPP said...

While I loved the Woz death, about time, shouldn't Antro have the Borat line? Poni's from the Ukraine.

But awesome. That sneaky Tucker. Stupid McCabe. You can't trust those crazy eyes!

Loser Domi said...

@PPP: I know that, but I wanted to work in the Looking for Group reference,(+15 jared, don't spend it all in one place) and I felt that it make sense for Poni to be doing it all...for Pony. Know what I mean?

Jaredoflondon said...

Wooo Nerd points!


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