Friday Youtube Yoinkage May 28, 2010

For this week's FYY, I'm previewing the Stanley Cup Finals using random Youtube yoinkery.

Clip one: Well, one of the cities is Philadelphia, which would probably lead to Riots. Clip one is "White Riot" by the Clash:


Embedding was disabled by request, but clip two is the Godzilla fight scene from Crank 2. I put it in because it's so weird and amazing at the same time, which makes sense for this series.

clip three Johnathan Toews and Patrick Kane talk about each otehr:

The Mailbag Returns!

 

(Source is here. I think I have an idea for a Halloween costume...)

Am I the only one who sees the Caped Crusader/Boy Wonder potential in the duo of Frankenphaneuf and Kessel? Both seem to be staying for a moment, so why not make a regular feature out of 'em?

Let’s take a quick look at the other players that I have given shows:

Darcy Tucker (and a retired Tie Domi): one episode of a show called “Go Puck Yourself” in the early days of the blog  (Well, one aired episode. I found episode two—hand written and stuffed in a book—months after the fact and found out it sucked as much as episode one  ) That was in November of 2007. In Mid 2008, Tucker’s contract got bought out by the Leafs, which allowed Darcy to start half-assing it for the Colorado Avalanche

Nik Antropov and Alexei Ponikarovsky: In February 2009, Jared of London and I gave the dynamo duo their own show. There were three total episodes, but Nik was only around for one, after he got traded in March. Alexei got traded to the Penguins in March of 2010.

Ask Lee Stempniak was started in July of 2009. I managed to squeeze out seven episodes before he and Buttons got traded to the Phoenix Coyotes in March 2010.

Now, I would love to be able to write a Kessel/Phaneuf duo series. A mute caveman and functionally retarded gopher would make for hilarious hijinks. But given that the best track record I have with player shows is Lee Stempniak? I can’t risk it, not with Phaneuf and Kessel.

Hey this is bestbostonsports. I love the little stories you make up about Leafs players, could you make one for the Bruins?
That Leader Madness was funny, could you make one with the Bruins?
Can you do one of your stories with Bruins players?
As for all three of these questions, I do my non-Leafs stories over at Barry Melrose Rocks. Check over there for Boston stuff.  If you have any suggestions for character quirks (for example, Tim Thomas’s love of cheeseburgers), feel free to send them over!

Who would you most like to win The Cup this year? The Habs? Dany Heatley, who they say is an absolute killer behind the steering wheel? Patrick Kane, who they say is likely to try and kill the guy who is behind the steering wheel? Or Dan Carcillo?

(Somehow I posted this over at The Victoria Times. Sorry, Ryan!)
Let's take a look at the other teams I wanted to win in this payoff series:
Phoenix Coyotes
Los Angeles Kings
Washington capitals
Pittsburgh Penguins
San Jose Sharks

Each and every one got eliminated. Now I'm down to Habs, Flyers, and the Hawks. There is no "good" option anymore, just 'least painful"

Since you're LD2 on formspring, is there a loserdomi1?

no, I just forgot the login info for the first account and couldn't do spaces or _, so loserdomi2 was the best I could do

Ask me anything

Wrap and LD Cover (alleged) Lohan/Avery spat!

Those of you who pay attention to this sort of thing may already know about the club spat that allegedly involved Sean Avery and Lindsay Lohan (among others.) Heather of Wrap Around Curl and I got to talking and we pieced together what the event may have looked like to observers. Plus, I get an excuse to use this gif:

(SCENE: AARON VOROS enters club with JESSICA STAM. SEAN AVERY is already seated at a table.)

SEAN AVERY: Who the hell are you two? And he can’t sit here, he’s not nearly stylish enough. But you, the blonde? You can totally sit right on me—I mean, uh, next to me.

AARON VOROS: Dude, I play on the same team as you do. We’re both part of the New York Rangers.


JESSICA STAM: And I’m his girlfriend, Jessica Stam, eh? I’m a model from Canada and I got discovered in a Tim Horton’s, eh?

SEAN AVERY: Why are you talking like that?

STAM: I am from Canada, eh?

AVERY: We don’t talk like that, seriously.

VOROS: I think it’s cute.


AVERY: I’m from Canada and I don’t talk like that.

(LINDSAY LOHAN enters)


LINDSAY LOHAN: ‘Sup sluts? I just got done with a alcohol class so let’s celebraaaaaate bitcheesssssss! (LOHAN steals bottle of wine form a neighboring table.)

AVERY: Should you really be drinking that? Aren’t you in rehab for alcoholism or something?

LOHAN: Whatever, man. I know so much about alcohol, I coulda taught that dumb class. Like, how if you have cheap vodka and you put it in a Brita filter, it gets better! Then, you put it in a Evian bottle and bazinga!—PARTY WATER!. I even started brewing my own since I couldn’t buy anything with enough burn to it.


VOROS: That…sounds like it’s totally counterintuitive to any rehab.

LOHAN: Who the Hell are you, scab?

VOROS: I’m Aaron Voros of the New York Rangers.

LOHAN: Are you an ex-boyfriend of mine?

VOROS: Maaaayyybe…

AVERY:I dunno—how much bleach do you have left?

LOHAN: Ah, screw you douche juice, I was in the Parent Trap! I was the cute one!

STAM: I dunno, wasn’t there a dog in the Parent Trap?

AVERY: And Dennis Quaid?

LOHAN: Whatever. Who’s this tramp over here?

STAM: I was aboot to be a dentist, ya you know, I was just in a Timmy Ho's getting my double double and timbits on my way back from Canada’s Wonderland. Now I model, and I travel the world, eh? I’m gonna be a pilot!

LOHAN: I do car commercials…in Japan!

STAM: I wouldn’t trust ya to dive a Tonka truck, eh?

AVERY: Oh sheeeeet, you gonna need some aloe for that burn?

VOROS: Being in a DUI PSA doesn’t count as a car commercial.


STAM: Lindsay, don’t you think you have a problem?


LOHAN: Yeah, I got a problem. I got a problem with some donut chomping skankass telling me what to do!

VOROS: Dude, chicks fights are so awesome.

AVERY: Girls, girls...ladies. Don’t fight. Not here, anyway—I don’t have my kiddie pool of jello set up

LOHAN: HEY RANGER GUY, DON'T YOU KNOW WHO I AM?

VOROS: uh....I knew what you were at one point.

AVERY: What happened Lilo--can I call you Lilo? You can tell me everything, Lindsay, back at my place after I put on my Teflon condom.

LOHAN: Well, I could use a friend, you know, someone to hang out with and hold my hair back when I puke and start fights with when my next movie comes out.

VOROS: Go on…

STAM: Don’t even talk to her, eh? I think I’m aboot to catch the herp from being in the same room as her.

LOHAN: This dj SUCKS! I wanna sit by them give tips. I used to date a DJ ya know! And she didn’t suck like this loser!

AVERY: Wait, are you back with the cocks or are you still in the henhouse? ‘Cuz, like, I can swing both ways, if that’s what you're into. I'm not scared of a little makeup and pretending.

STAM: What does that mean?

LOHAN: It’s called bisexual, asshat!

VOROS: Bisexual? Isn't that where you wanna kill your dad and screw your mom? Or is that the one with the mascots?

AVERY: SHE DOESNT EVEN GO HERE!

LOHAN: Wait…if she’s Canadian…how come she’s white?

VOROS: You can’t just ask people why they’re white. Can you?

LOHAN: I know who killed me!

STAM: Yeah, it was you. Good luck on Hollywood squares (At this point, a drink is thrown and LOHAN gets tossed out of the club.)


AVERY: Dude...did I just get out douched? and by a damn chick? I really need to step up my game.


VOROS: Nah, you’re fine.

AVERY: Who are you and why are you still talking?

Friday Youtube Yoinkage May 14, 2010

In honour of my new buddy Doug Gilmour today is Doug Gilmour day at WWoLD!

I'll admit, I wasn't yet a Leafs fan when Dougie was in his prime. But that doesn't mean that I can't appreciate what was.

Clip one: Dougie shows us all about Head and Shoulders. This suave (see what I did there?) gentleman shows us how soft and dandruff free his hair is. The hand through the hair is what sells it.



clip two: doug gets his number honoured and looks like a damn pimp doing it.


Clip three: Don Cherry likes Doug Gilmour an awful, awful, lot. Especially when Doug is all sweaty and hot and...[editied for NSFW content]

LD Mailbag thingy

Hello, everyone!

Remember how I had the little Formspring thing so you can ask me questions? Some people actually did it! And I wrote answers to them! Now I just need a name for this feature.

Tie Domi: Threat or Menace?
That depends: are you a Flyers fan? If so, Tie Domi is a threatening menace. Observe:


If the Maple Leafs didn't exsist who would you root for?
Hrmm, good question. Consider that where I am, all of the hockey fans (and there aren’t many of those) are fans of either the Bruins or the Canadiens. Also consider that the first and so far only NHL game I have been to was Bruins-Habs. I also went to college in Quebec. Therefore, I imagine I would be a Habs fan, except Loser LaFleur isn’t nearly as funny a nickname as Loser Domi.

I now feel dirty for saying this, and I will never speak of it again.

Was it really just a fold?
…Dammit, you guys. You know that there are places on the Internet where one can see more that just what might be a nipple, right? All these questions about the shirt are making me seriously doubt what I saw as a fold. I hope you’re all happy.

if your boyfriend offered to fly you away for the night for a romantic getaway would you go or tell him 'i don't see the point?'
I don’t have a boyfriend, so I’d have to put on my imagination cap for this one. See, what I would consider “romantic” is not what others would consider romantic. A lot of what other people consider “romantic” (wine and candles, opera, committing suicide over a guy you’ve only known for a week) is what I consider “vomit-inducing.” Romantic for me would be "hey babe, I just got box seats for a Leafs game at the Air Canada Centre. Grab your passport and coat and let's go." That might get the motor running.  I’d like the idea of a getaway in general, however.

More drawings please! Always great.
Sure! I just need some ideas for it. I also need the time to do it, which I don't have right now. Maybe I’ll figure something out for this summer.

MMMkkay folks, that's all I have for now.

Fake Interviews with Real People: Tomas Kaberle Raps

I heard "Natalie Raps" and I was surprised at how well the lyrical genius applies to the Leafs resident gentle Czech.

Here's the original (language VERY NSFW, which also goes for the parody below it.)


LOSER DOMI: I’m here with Maple Leafs defenceman Tomas Kaberle. So Tomas, what’s a day in the life of Tomas Kaberle like?
TOMAS KABERLE: Do you really want to know?
LD: Please, tell us.
KABERLE:

I don’t sleep, motherfucker, Red Bull and bourbon

Doin’ one twenty gettin’ head when I’m swerving

Damn Kaberle, you’re a crazy Czech

Yo, shut the fuck up and suck my dick.

I duck shots, ain’t nobody duckin’ harder

Roll up on the Flyers smack the shit outta Jeff Carter.

FRANCOIS BEAUCHEMIN: What you want, Kaberle?

KABERLE: To drink and fight!

BEAUCHEMIN: What you need, Kaberle?

KABERLE: TO FUCK ALL NIGHT!

Don’t screw with me when I’m on scrapbooking glue

I’ll shove my foot in your throat till your shit’s on my shoe

Leave you screaming, pay for my dry cleaning

fuck your man It’s my name that he’s screamin’

LD: I’m sorry Kaberle, but are we to believe you condone driving while intoxicated?
KABERLE: I never said I was a role model.
LD: What about all the community service? And the kids that look up to you?

KABERLE: All the kids lookin’ up to me can suck my dick

It’s Kabbie mother fucker drink till I’m sick

Slit your throat and poor nitrous down the hole

Watch you laugh and cry while I laugh you die

And all the chicks you know I’m talkin to you

ICE GIRLS: We love you Kabbie!

KABERLE: I wanna fuck you too! K is for Kabbie K is for Kock. I’ll kill your fuckin dog for fun so don’t push me!

LD: Well, Tomas I’m surprised. All this from a Leaf with extensive charity work and someone so respected in his native Czech Republic.
KABERLE: Well there’s a lot you may not know about me.
LD: Really? Such as?

KABERLE: When I was in Czech Leagues, I smoked weed every day

I punched a lot of hookers and snorted all the yay

I gotta a def posse and you gotta buncha dudes

I sit down on your face and take a shit

BEAUCHEMIN: Kaberle you are a bad ass Czech (hell yeah!) and I always pay for your dry cleanin when my shit gets in your shoe. And as for the drug use, well I can vouch for that

my soul is scared of you, Kabs

LD: One last question…if you could have dinner with any famous hockey figure, who would it be? (KABERLE throws chair at LD)
Kaberle: No more questions What!

Ask Lee Stempniak Loser Domi!

You see in the upper left hand side there? That's a new Formspring box. I had another, but I forgot the login and they can't seem to find it for me, so I'm just starting it up again. Feel free to use it like a suggestion box for whatever you might want to see here. Maybe you want to ask about more Grabovski postings. Maybe you can't get enough LOLeafs. Whatever you say, I'm all ears.

Friday Youtube yoinkage May 7th, 2010

Huzzah! I have returned and I am still alive! However, for this week's installment of the FYY, I don't really have a unified theme. I found this clip over at Puck Daddy, where I did grab my mouth andwince, like Sean Leahy said I'd do. It's the Blackhawks competing in Popsicle eating, and I'd love it if the leafs did silly stuff like this. They were pretty small Popsicles, to be honest.



Clip two, I typed in "Hockey sensitive teeth", and this clip from "Slovakia's got Talent" came up. He is a good accordion player, even if I can't tell what he has to do with hockey or sensitive teeth:


clip three: Marc-Andre Fleury wears a Steelers helmet and waves a "terrible towel." Silly golee, u wearz wrong helmett.