Friday Youtube Yoinkage, February 1, 2008

You ever have one of those days you say to yourself, "Aw fuckitall"? Well, I've been having one of those weeks. More like fortnight. So this week's FYY is just a bunch of random crap I threw on here. No theme.

This first clip is actually a song. A mashup of "Ghostbusters" and "The Hand that Feeds" from Nine Inch Nails. Two things you wouldn't expect to go together that do.


Sex and hockey:


"Army Careers" by The Frantics. I love this clip.

Aw, fuck it. Here's another LolLeaf:

Leafer Madness Part 5

Disclaimers

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Part 4

(ALEXEI PONIKAROVSKY and NIK ANTROPOV are together in a shed of some sort. )

PONIKAROVSKY: Nik, I am unbelieving that we are must be killing the others.

ANTROPOV: Misfortunately, this is not for great justice, Alexei. As far as I can view, it is like pair of docks—we either kill other people and be monsters or we kill selfs and we run away from problems.

PONIKAROVSKY: You speak of paradox. Not pair of docks. It is only one word.

ANTROPOV: Oh, okay. I always wonder why other peoples talk of pair of docks. I was always like, “why pair of docks? You not talking of seas and oceans.”

PONIKAROVSKY: I am thinking that we should kill selfs and fly to place with nobody else so we can be free.

ANTROPOV: nobody else so we can be free…

PONIKAROVSKY: I see there is rope here. And there are many trees outside.

ANTROPOV: But this. Is. Not. Enooo-uuugh!

PONIKAROVSKY: What you say?

ANTROPOV: It isn’t enough rope for both of us to hang selfs by.

PONIKAROVSKY: oh. Umm…what weapons did you have?

ANTROPOV: I have (checks sack) a whip? Like I’m some Indiana Jones or something. I suppose I could tie it like a rope. What weapon do you have?

PONIKAROVSKY: (checks sack) What’s this? Fight with binoculars?

ANTROPOV: It really is better to kill selfs now.

(they go through the adequate preparations for hanging themselves in the trees, except ANTROPOV is using his whip whereas PONIKAROVSKY is using rope that he found.) PONIKAROVSKY: For make benefit great team of maple leaf! (hangs self)

ANTROPOV: For…Pony! (hangs self) {I got a bright shiny +15 for anyone who knows where this line comes from originally}

(in the forest of the island, WOZNIEWSKI, armed with a hatchet, is wandering alone)

WOZNIEWSKI: Helloooo? Helllooo! (he steps and lands his left foot in a bear trap

WOZNIEWSKI lets out blood-curdling screams. He steps again, dragging his foot still in the bear trap. He manages a few steps and lands his right foot in another bear trap.)

WOZNIEWSKI lets out even more blood curdling screams. He continues crawling, dragging himself on his hands. Somehow, he finds a third bear trap with his right hand)

WOZNIEWSKI: CHIRSTONAPOGO-STICK THIS HURTS! *lets out screams of terrible pain* (at this point he continues moving, dragging himself by his left hand. He continues like this for a short while, until his right hand falls on a land mine, which promptly goes off and finally kills him.) (if you need a visual: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CVRl8rHDahY)

(TUCKER enters a greenhouse in search of another player to eliminate. McCABE, armed with his pistol that he found by BELAK’s body, is also there and hiding behind some boxes as TUCKER enters. )

McCABE: (jumping out into the open) Yippee-ki-yay, motherfucker! ‘Morning, Darcy. (He grabs the sickle out of TUCKER’s hand.)

TUCKER : What did you do that for?

McCABE: I don’t trust you, Then again, I don’t trust anybody here. Did you see Poni and Nik?

TUCKER: Yeah—strung up together all like, From Russia with love or something.

McCABE: You know something? I saw Kilger, too. His throat was slit, like with a sickle or something. You would know about that, wouldn’t you?

TUCKER: …Maybe?

McCABE: You son of a bitch—(kicks TUCKER down to the ground)

TUCKER: What am I supposed to do in this game, Bryan? Invite everyone over for tea? (Secretly grabs taser) I wouldn’t last a minute!

McCABE: That would be a risk I’d be willing to take.

TUCKER: This game is nothing like anything you or I have ever done.

McCABE: How so?

TUCKER: …I want to bathe in a geyser of enemy blood!

McCABE: That hardly sounds sanitary—

TUCKER: Screw sanitary! (attacks McCABE with the taser, and knocks the gun out of his hands)

McCABE: You didn’t have to do that--

TUCKER : Why? You were about to do the same to me. You know Bryan, you should always look on the bright side of life (Fires several shots in to McCABE’s torso, killing him) I used to love you, but I had to kill you. (Leaves the greenhouse.)

Eliminated so far: POHL, KRONWALL, COLAIACOVO, BATTAGLIA, DEVEREAUX,KILGER, BELAK, GILL, TLUSTY, WHITE, WELLWOOD, COLAIACOVO,STEEN, STAJAN, BLAKE, SUNDIN, RAYCROFT, TOSKALA, PONIKAROVSKY, ANTROPOV, WOZNIEWSKI, McCABE

LoLeafs ! (Thanks Jaredoflondon!)

I feel the need to throw something up,but I don't have the energy to do another suicide watch. With regards to Jared over at Die Hard Blue and White,I present my version of LolLeafs!
(all pictures are yoinked from Yahoo! sports and totally don't belong to me.)

Leafer Madness, part 4

Disclaimers
Part one
Part two
Part three

(Late at night on the island, JASON BLAKE and MATS SUNDIN are walking along the edge of the island where there is a sharp drop-off towards the sea. They have their bags, but they do not have their weapons out.)

BLAKE: Mats, I just…don’t know what to do here. I mean, I don’t think that I could kill anybody ever. Then again, I can’t really trust anyone here.

SUNDIN: I know what you mean. I’ve known most of these guys for years and the idea of them with weapons scares the hell out of me. Tucker…(shudders)

BLAKE: There’s one thing that I know for sure: I’m never going to play this game. (Throws bag containing weapon and supplies over the edge of the cliff)

SUNDIN: I won’t play, either. (He goes close to the edge of the cliff to throw off his bag, but he steps on a loose rock and falls. BLAKE attempts to grab his hand, but in doing so, he falls as well.)

(ANDREW RAYCROFT, armed with hand grenades, is half-hidden an alone at the edge of a field. In the distance, he sees VESA TOSKALA who is armed with a crossbow. TOSKALA becomes aware that someone is watching him and he raises his crossbow in self-defense. )

TOSKALA: I know that someone is out here. You should show yourself now.

RAYCROFT: Nobody’s watching you, Tosk

TOSKALA: I should have known it was you, Raycroft. Hiding in the dark like the cowardly King of Suckitude you are.

RAYCROFT: I won’t hurt you, Tosk. I mean, we’re fellow goalies, we can be friends—

TOSKALA: Liar! I wouldn’t trust you with anything, least of all my life, Raycroft. Or should I say GAYcroft?(fires an arrow and misses)

RAYCROFT: Did you think of that all by yourself or did your mommy have to help you? (Throws grenade, which TOSKALA kicks far enough away that its explosion doesn’t harm him.)

TOSKALA: Watch this: (as loud as he can) HEY EVERYBODY: GOALIE FIGHT! (The island falls silent)

RAYCROFT: Your shooting sucks more than your glove save you strained nutsack! (throws grenade, which lands near TOSKALA, but the explosion only harms him slightly)

TOSKALA: You can kiss my strained nutsack! I bet that you would like it too, GAYzor. (fires another arrow, which pierces RAYCROFT at the base of the throat. RAYCROFT weakly throws another grenade, which lands and explodes nowhere near its target. He then gurgles more blood and dies slowly. A self-satisfied TOSKALA continues on his way, but MARK BELL appears from the woods behind TOSKALA.)

BELL: You’re a pretty good shot, Tosk. (holds up assault rifle.) But…I think I’m a better shooter. (He shoots TOSKALA dead, steals TOSKALA’s crossbow and arrows, goes to RAYCROFT’s corpse and steals his remaining grenades. He disappears into the woods on the opposite edge of the field.)

Eliminated so far: POHL, KRONWALL, COLAIACOVO, BATTAGLIA, DEVEREAUX,KILGER, BELAK, GILL, TLUSTY, WHITE, WELLWOOD, COLAIACOVO,STEEN, STAJAN, BLAKE, SUNDIN, RAYCROFT, TOSKALA

8 to go

Friday YouTube Yoinkage, January 25, 2008

This week's theme is "Fun off the ice!"

Even after last week, more fun with the Caps in Segways!
*cue “White and Nerdy”*


For fun off the ice, I have to throw in the NHL roadtrip commercial. Simply. Epic:


Apparently someone somewhere challenged members of the Leafs to a trivia contest. In this episode, it’s Eric “The Big E” Lindros versus Matt “STAAAJAAAAN” (or “Matthew”) Stajan.

just a note...

So, the other I was over at Scarlett Ice whoring out my JFJ suicide series. I just want to thank Sherry for giving us this great thing. Thanks Sherry, there weren't enough people giving me odd looks in the computer lab while I was wearing headphones. I'm sure my giggling attracted many a glance. Thank you again.

JFJ Post-firing suicide watch, day 3

(SCENE: JFJ is once again in his office.)

JFJ: Aw, screw it all. I'm through. Finished, I tells ya! FINISHED! What I need is pills and booze, yeah, pills and booze!
(Takes out what appears to be a bottle of Jack Daniels and a baggie of small pill-like, um, things. He swallows most of the contents of the baggie and starts chugging the contents of the bottle. AIDE enters.)

AIDE:Sir, what are you doing?
JFJ:I'm ending it, Skipper, or whatever your name is. This time, it's pills and booze--nice and painless way to go.
AIDE:But sir...this bag is full of Tic-Tacs. And your bottle of Jack (sniffs bottle) seems to be filled with iced tea.
JFJ:You mean I'm not over dosing on pills and booze?
AIDE: No, sir
JFJ:And you can't commit suicide with Tic-Tacs and iced tea?
AIDE:I'm afraid not, sir
JFJ:Really? Shit!