(SCENE: Still at the “cabin”, DION PHANUEF is stuffing his face with cookies and booze.)
ELISHA CUTHBERT: Welcome back from those words from our sponsors!
DION PHANUEF: Mmmph.
(There is a knock at the door)
CUTHBERT: Who could that be?
PHANEUF: What the hell do you want?
(CUTHBERT gets off the couch and opens the door. It’s LUKE SCHENN, PHIL KESSEL, and TYLER BOZAK.)
CUTHBERT: Hey guys! I’m so glad that you could make it all the way to our cabin!
LUKE SCHENN: Well, it’s not that hard to find this sound stage, Elisha.
TYLER BOZAK: Maybe we shouldn’t point out how all of this is fake, Luke.
PHIL KESSEL: Hi, Elisha…Is that one of those video fireplaces? Those things are so cool.
BOZAK: Yeah they are! I so wish I was the guy who thought of making a DVD by pointing my camera at a fireplace. That guy was GENIUS to get people to pay 10 bucks for a video fire.
SCHENN: I know, right? That’s retirement money right there.
KESSEL: DION! How you doin’, man?
PHANEUF: Awesome! Here, have some eggnog and cookies!
CUTHBERT: This is so cool! I’m sure you guys have some great holiday stories to share. (Everyone has an awkward moment of silence where they’re staring at each other.) I said…(clears throat) I’m sure you have some great stories—
SCHENN: Uh, yeah! I do!
(Present “flashback” transition effects to LUKE SCHENN as an 11 year old getting ready for school back in Saskatchewan.)
SCHENN (In voiceover): I think it was the Christmas when I was about 11. My brother Brayden and I were excited to be getting ready for Christmas.
LUKE: Mom! Where’s my hat and mittens?
MAMA SCHENN: It should be in the hall next to your boots.
BRAYDEN: LUKE! Do you have my lace tightener?
LUKE: NO! Why would I have your stupid lace tightener?
BRAYDEN: You do, too have it!
LUKE: No I don’t, you stupid face!
BRAYDEN: I’m not a stupid face!
LUKE: At least I can spell my name right!
MAMA SCHENN: Boys! You have to get ready for school or you will miss the bus!
(LUKE and BRAYDEN leave the house and get on the school bus.)
BRAYDEN: It’s only 2 more weeks til Christmas! Did you make your list for Santa yet?
LUKE: Not yet. All I really want is some new laces, some blade tape, and a binder for my hockey cards.
BRAYDEN: Yeah, that envelope isn’t really working anymore. It’s kinda full.
LUKE: What about you, Brayden?
BRAYDEN: I want Final Fantasy 8!
LUKE: Wow! You think Santa will bring it?
(Another young boy, KRIS, sitting behind LUKE and BRAYDEN turns around)
KRIS: You two twerps still think “Santa” will bring you Christmas presents?
LUKE: We’re not twerps!
BRAYDEN: Yeah, we’re not!
KRIS: Wanna make something of it?
LUKE: Uh-huh! (LUKE jumps over the seat and punches KRIS)
KRIS: AHH! My face! You erased my face!
SCHENN (in voiceover): I was so worried about there not being a Santa. Plus, that fight probably didn’t help me get on the good list, anyway. So, I figured I had to work hard to get Brayden Final Fantasy 8 just in case Santa didn’t deliver. (Start montage of LUKE doing chores for extra money) I did dishes, shoveled the driveway, and did all of these extra chores to buy the game. But I still couldn’t get enough money. So, after thinking long and hard, I sold all of my hockey cards to the card shop. Anyway, Christmas day came and…
(SCENE: Christmas morning at the Schenns. The whole family is opening gifts. )
MAMA SCHENN: Ok Luke, your turn now. (LUKE opens a gift It’s a binder, complete with sleeve sheets, for hockey cards.)
LUKE: (excited) WOW! A binder for cards! (a bit saddened) Too bad I sold all of my hockey cards.
MAMA SCHENN: Luke…you loved those cards. Why did you sell them?
LUKE: I wanted to buy Brayden…this. (Takes out a wrapped gift from behind the tree and gives it to BRAYDEN) Unwrap it, Brayden! (BRAYDEN unwraps the gift. It’s Final Fantasy 8.)
BRAYDEN (excited): Wow! Final Fantasy 8! That’s so cool! You really sold you hockey cards for it?
LUKE: Yeah. I did all of these chores and stuff for it, too, but I didn’t have enough money. So I had to sell my cards to buy the game for you. Merry Christmas!
BRAYDEN: Wow! Thanks, Luke! Do you like your hockey binder?
LUKE: Yeah! Now I just need some cards to put in it (nervous chuckle.)
BRAYDEN: I’m happy you like the binder, Luke. Because…I stole it.(SCENE: Back at the present day cabin)
CUTHBERT: That was such a great story until the very end, Luke.
BOZAK: Yeah, you worked your ass off and got bupkiss. AND your brother’s a thief!
SCHENN: Nah, it’s cool. I kicked his ass for stealing later that day. When the store was open again, I dragged him back there to apologize. Brayden never stole anything ever again.
PHANEUF: Cool story, Luke.
KESSEL: Holy crap, these cookies and milky booze are AWESOME.
SCHENN: I want some!
PHANEUF: Luke, can you drink here?
BOZAK: He’s Luke Schenn in Toronto. Do you think anyone gives a shit?