Monday, May 26, 2008

Hello's the Penguins

(SCENE: SIDNEY CROSBY, JORDAN STAAL and MARC-ANDRE FLEURY are all sitting in a hotel room in Detroit.)

FLEURY: Man, I’m so bored! What do we do in Detroit for fun?

CROSBY: I dunno. We could…go bowling?


FLEURY: We could throw water balloons at cars.

CROSBY: I don’t think the drivers would like that much.

STAAL: We could prank call people.

CROSBY: Isn’t that illegal?

STAAL: (as he takes hotel phone and dials a random number) Maybe. (hands phone to CROSBY) Ok, just make up a fake name.

CROSBY: (in phone) Uh, hi. This is Fakey Fakename…erton. Uhhh… (to STAAL and FLEURY) What do I do now?

FLEURY: Ask if dere refrigerator is running!

CROSBY: Is you refrigerator malfunctioning?

ANSWERER: Actually, Yes, it has been for the past two GODDAMN WEEKS and NONE of you lazy sonsaBITCHES can seem to get off your asses come and take a look at…

STAAL: Just hang up, just hang up (CROSBY hangs up the phone) Ooh, DUDE! Gimme the phone, I got a great one! (dials number) It’s ringing…ringing…Hello, is this the residence of Eric Staal?

ERIC STAAL: Uh, yeah, Eric speaking. Why may I ask are you calling?

JORDAN STAAL: I’m from the Pittsburgh Penguins and it seems your brother Jordan just broke his ankle and we were wondering if you’d come in and substitute.

ERIC STAAL:…seriously?

JORDAN STAAL: No way, I’m just FOOLING with ya, man! (hangs up phone and all three laugh hysterically)

FLEURY: I got good one! (takes phone and dials number) Hello, I, uh, (giggles) Sidney Crosby. And if you (giggles) hit self on head with da phone (giggles) I give you a million dollars.

FEMALE ANSWERER: You don’t sound anything like Sidney Crosby!

FLEURY: I have a bad hallergies. (hangs up) She didn’t fall for it. So disappointing.

CROSBY: Wait guys, I got one. (CROSBY takes phone and dials a number. FLEURY’s cell phone rings)


STAAL: Sid, you can’t prank call somebody when they’re in the room with you. It just doesn’t work.

CROSBY: Aw, shucks.


Jaredoflondon said...

I can so see Crosby saying 'Aw Shucks'.

I think Ovie should prank call him next time.

Heather said...

Does Ovie still run up Crosby's room service tab?

"Lobster....lots of ketchup."

dani said...

I see that. I love that.

I think Sid should prank all A.O. to get him back from the horrible hotel joke. Elevator tag, maybe? I don't know.

dani said...

Yes, and by "all" I meant call, sorry. Ha.

Loser Domi said...

@jared: yep. Totally.

@heather and dani: elevator tag? I'm not that sure what that means. maybe he does like in the Reggie Bush/Peyton Manning commercial and orders a live cow.

dani said...

You've never played elevator tag?! Well, it's usually played by 10 year olds and it annoys the hell out of guests. It's basically the game of tag... only, in elevators! haha


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