Wednesday, February 24, 2010

Fake Interviews with Real People: Mikhail Grabovski, part 2

Part one of this fake interview here

LOSER DOMI: Mikhail, I’d like to thank you for coming back for another interview.
MIKHAIL GRABOVSKI: Is no problem at all, lady.
LD: Now, some of your fans have found…rather odd pictures of you. What is it with you and pineapples? Is there some sort of tradition in Belarus with pineapples?
MG: But pined apples don’t even grow in Belarus! How could we have traditions with pineapples when we have no pineapple?
LD: So what is going on in these photos?
MG: Well, since I get to big hockey leagues, I see movies and TV shows where they show people on beaches that have drinks in pineapple and sexy bikini ladies dancing. So I was thinking maybe if you have one part, the other parts come in. Like, you have beach and the drinks and ladies just show up. So I thinking…if I make drinks in pineapple, then nice summer and bikinis ladies will come, too!
LD: So…you basically tried to make your life the video for “Big Pimpin’”?
MG: What, is something wrong with that?
LD: No, it’s just…unlikely.
MG: You’s don’t know any of it. It taked me 30 minutes to even get little bit of peel off that pineapple. It make mess. Juice all over place. But pineapple still so sweet and tasty. Such delicious goo inside.
LD: And so full of Vitamin C and fiber as well.
MG: Indeed. Is success fruit! But still, no sexy bikini ladies come in. I think this may be since I try experiment when I play in Moscow. Not many women become sexy bikini ladies because it is too cold there.
LD: OK, how about we do some Proust questionnaire stuff? First, what is your favorite curse word?
MG: Is tie: orange or Poland.
LD: Mikhail…those aren’t swears. Orange is a fruit and color while Poland is a country.
MG: They’s not even hard core curse words. But is still fun to say.
LD: What character from fiction do you most admire?
MG: I think…Draco from the Rocky movie, or Rickard Wallin
LD: But Rickard Wallin isn’t even—oh forget it, I’m just going to go with it. What are the qualities you most admire in a man?
MG: I admire strongness and ballsiness.
LD:And the traits you most admire in a woman?
MG: I admire big…bangs. And eyes. And communications about feelings stuff.
LD: Uhh…ok…
MG: Is ok if we end now? I have appointment for hair style. Minsk Mullet does not take care of self.
LD: It’s ok, Grabbo. Thank you again!


Aubrey said...

At least I put the soda down before reading this time. Success fruit! Ha!

Speaking of which... I have a lamp shaped like a pineapple. Do you suppose that might attract lamps shaped like bikini ladies? Or would it have to be a lamp shaped like a pineapple drink?

CGLN said...

I agree, pineapple is success fruit.

Loser Domi said...

Aubrey, I'm not sure if you'll get bikini ladies lamps, bur it's worth a shot.

CGN: It is full of Vitamins and fiber--how could it NOT be success fruit?

CGLN said...

Well, there is the issue of pined apples being a bit inaccessible, as Grabbo pointed out. I personally suck with kitchen knives, so I'm happy it is readily available in the canned variety.


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