***Welcome to the Official Chat Room of the Toronto Maple Leafs***
Schenn_sational: You guys, I can’t believe the season’s already over!
StempOfApproval: Yeah, it feels like I just got here—
Schenn_sational: Wait—who the hell are you?
StempOfApproval: Dammit, not this crap again.
Stajan_Not_cajun: OH. MY. GOD. YOU GUYS….
White_Lightning: What? Did you find more cute kitty pictures?
StempOfApproval: Matty does like cute kittys
Stajan_Not_cajun: You guys, I was on my LiveJournal today and—
Schenn_sational: Wait—Matt, you have a LiveJournal account?
StempOfApproval: What are you, a 14 year old girl trapped in a grown man’s body?
Stajan_Not_cajun: Well, where else am I gonna post my Twilight slashfic, SMARTASS? But you wouldn’t believe something I found! It’s about Luke…
Stajan_Not_cajun: …and your brother…
Stajan_Not_cajun: …doing inappropriate things...oh my, this is …NOT SAFE FOR WORK AT ALL
White_Lightning: Like, lighting shit on fire inappropriate? Or what?
StempOfApproval: Are you guys getting drunk and yelling at cars like the Staals?
Stajan_Not_cajun: Oh no…Luke, this is hard to ask, but…do you regularly fuck your brother?
Schenn_sational: Dude, didn’t you say this a FICTION site? I mean, obviously, I don’t fuck my brother…
StempOfApproval: well, you could be. In theory…
Schenn_sational: but this isn’t true! It’s just some story! Brayden isn’t even of age there!
StempOfApproval: Oh yeah…Heaven forbid a little thing like age get in the way of gay incest! You know, your SCHENNCEST
Stajan_Not_cajun: Schenncest? It sounds like some 3 day festival featuring Explosions in the Sky and Kings of Leon.
White_Lightning: Why your brother, Schenner? Like, I bet you could walk into any gay bar in Toronto and have your pick of dudes.
Schenn_sational: Dangit, I am not gay!
White_Lightning: There’s nothing wrong with that, Luke. I mean, just based on numbers there have to be some guys in the NHL who are gay or bi. There’s what, over 700 players? You mean to say NOBODY is gay?
Schenn_sational: Gah, you guys! This is just some stupid story on the Internet! It’s not REAL! Matt, help me out here!
Stajan_Not_cajun: OMIGOD I’M IN IT TOO!
Stajan_Not_cajun: Phew! At least I’m not fucking anyone.
StempOfApproval: Don’t worry Schenner, we’re just giving you shit.
White_Lightning: Yeah, you’re a popular guy, so people are gonna write weird stuff about you. It’s ok
StempOfApproval: Yeah, it’s not like you’re writing slashfic about you and your brother, right?
White_Lightning: Yeah, at least you’re not writing this kinda crap
White_Lightning: Oh…Sorry Matt.
"Oh", said Edward. All he could say was "oh."
Stajan_Not_cajun: oops wrong window lol.