Sunday, March 22, 2009

Cooking with the NHL, part two

I know it’s been a long time since the last volume of cooking with the NHL, but I keep getting recipes from people.

Max Talbot’s Oreo Cheesecake
1: Buy a plain cheesecake. Make sure you throw out the box so they think you made it yourself.
2: Crumble Oreos on top of it
3: pour chilled Boone’s farm (any flavor) into your finest dollar store serving glasses
4: wait for the hot bitches to arrive.

Eggs a la Hollweg
(interesting story: An odd young man smelling faintly of bacon grease and pickles with a greasy mullet and wannabe pirate mustache stopped me one day and pressed a greasy napkin into my hand. On that napkin was the following recipe, hastily scribbled. I have yet to see that man again)
I eat this often an it’s pretty tasty.
Pot of water
Buttload of eggs

1: get a pot full of water and put it on a hotplate.
2: throw in some salt. I dunno how much cuz I don’t mess around with fairy shit like “smidgen.”
3: put in your eggs, shell an all in the pot. Cover the pot
4: put on “2 girls 1 cup” (Dir. R. Hollweg), jerk off an fall asleep
5: wake up 2 hours later
6: how the fuck did I burn eggs?
7: say “fuck it” an call Dominoes

Kyle Wellwood’s English muffin pizzas
You know, I’ve enjoyed English muffin pizzas for a long time, but since I joined the Canucks, I’ve discovered a whole new twist!
You will need:
English muffins
Ketchup (or spaghetti sauce if you’re feeling fancy)
Cheese (whatever kind you like, personally I use the square kind in the little wrappers)
BBQ potato chips, crushed
“Vancity spice”, as desired

1: cut the English muffins and put them on a cookie sheet lined with aluminum foil
2:cover muffins with ketchup, “Vancity spice”, cheese, chips, more “Vancity spice” (Note: I’ve also used different toppings in addition to these, like bacon, peppers, and a can of frosting. Feel free to play around with the ingredients a bit if you like.)
3: bake in oven at 425 F for about 15 minutes or until the muffins are toasted and the cheese is melted, or until you just can’t wait to eat them.


sleza said...

I think I might be able to make the Oreo cheesecake without screwing it...

Irene Tanga said...

ketchup on english muffins.

Loser Domi said...

sleza, the Cheesecake is the best one, but it's no orphan meat.

Irene: it can be done, and is REALLY tasty with "vancity spice" (wink wink)


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