Wednesday, March 4, 2009

Antro and Poni Super Awesome show 2: Time to Say goodbye

(SCENE: ALEXEI PONIKAROVSKY, NIK ANTROPOV and DOMINIC MOORE are sitting on some folding chairs in ANTROPOV’s basement. A video camera is set up on a tripod filming them.)
ANTROPOV: Hello! I am Nik Antropov!
PONIKAROVSKY: An I is Alex Ponikarovsky!
ANTROPOV: Welcome to Antrov and Poni Awesome Show that Is Good.
PONIKAROVSKY: Why is your name first? All the time, “Antro and Poni”
ANTROPOV: Dat’s how they do it in hockey, is by last names.
PONIKAROVSKY: But by first names, Alexei comes before Nik.
MOORE: Uh, guys...
PONIKAROVSKY: Sorry. And we also has special guest, Serial Killer college boy—
ANTROPOV: (harsh whisper)Don’t say that to his face!
PONIKAROVSKY: (harsh whisper): Why not? Why are you whispering?
ANTROPOV: (whisper) He’s right THERE!
MOORE: So, uh, I’m Dominic Moore and—
PONIKAROVSKY: (normal voice) Right. Is big show today. We gots Dominic Moore who is totally not a serial killer like the guy from dat show, and later we has Matt Stajan for talkings about stuff.
(ANTROPOV’s phone rings)
ANTROPOV: Hello? And wha? To where? (sad face) ok. Ok. (hangs up) I’d traded to Rangers of New York.
PONIKAROVSKY: Wha? Oh noes, it cants…(breaks down crying)
ANTROPOV: Is ok Poni, I shell be Ranger of New York, which is better than being Ranger of Old York, with Chuck Norris.
MOORE: Chuck Norris isn’t on the Rangers, that was just some dumb TV show!
PONIKAROVSKY: You’s ruining moment (ANTROPOV starts bawling as well)
ANTROPOV: I promised I wouldn’t cry…
STAJAN (From backstage, which is a shower curtain): DAMMIT! Why do all my friends keep getting traded?! Fuck this! I’m going to Tim’s and getting some donuts! And then...somewhere to get a bottle of tequila! (Storms out of basement)
(MOORE’s phone rings)
MOORE: Hello? Yeah. To Buffalo?...oh. Ok. Uh, thanks. Yeah, I can be there. Ok. (MOORE hangs up, looks left and looks right, sneaks away from sobbing PONIKAROVSKY and ANTROPOV.) Buffalo can’t be that bad, can it?

But really, Rebel_Yell and Antrobot_80000, thanks for everything.

17 Comments:

OMGWTFTML said...

Can I request that you don't make a Tv show for any more of the players I like.
Carlo had one he's gone
Tucker had one and he's gone
you gave Antropov one and now he's gone. It's your version of the chemmy jersey curse.
Can you go back to killing them off on an island?

Loser Domi said...

You know, I never realized that the TV show thing had that effect. I may have to re-evaluate what I'm doing here. Are there any players you wouldn't mind seeing gone?

Kriv said...

Stempniak please and Mayers and Hollweg

Robert said...

You know what LD if you start making TV shows for players we want on other teams, then maybe in the future they'll come to the Leafs!!! (Wishful thinking??)

tugboats and arson said...

i can only imagine the deep depression poni is in right now. poor giant ukraine train. he is a sad panda.

article1 said...

I really, really don't want to know what Hollweg's TV show is about.

Anonymous said...

The Rick and Ilya Show?

sleza said...

I almost broke down crying because of that trade :/

GB said...

What on earth will Poni do now, with his hetero life partner no longer at his side???

bkblades said...

Maybe Antro will have a satellite feed from NY. Please?

Loser Domi said...

kriv:I don't know what Stempniak and Mayers would ever talk about. However, Hollwegg's show has to be on late night--it would probably get dirrrrrty

robert:dunno if you've been here before, if not, Welcome! It wouldn't hurt me to start writing about other teams

tugboats: he r sad panda who needz hugs

article 1: see above. It'd be dirty and would involve at least one horse show

anon:Welcome!

Sleza:with Antro gone, there goes about 25% of my material. Moore was gonna have at least one feature of his own as well as continuing being a supporting player, oh well.

GB:I don't know--losing a hetero life partner like that is tough.

bkblades: I don't know. Maybe Antro can be a guest on Poni's show?

article1 said...

Yeah, thanks. You know when I said I didn't want to know, what I meant was...

Now, I'm imagining the announcer at the start of the show.

"Tonight on Bestiality and Mullets: a dwarf gets covered in custard; ten girls compete for a vaginoplasty; our special guest star takes on the winner of the Kentucky Derby; and to play us out, we have a woman with a baseball bat.

Now, here's your host... Ryaaaaaaaan Hollweg."

Anonymous said...

The Rick and Ilya Show?
Only if it's Ilya Bryzgalov. I'd pay good money for that!

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