Wednesday, March 12, 2008

Leafer Madness, Part 10




Last Chapter coming next week, Hombres!

KABERLE :(to self) But I can't kill another human being! I couldn't harm anything
SPIRIT OF COLAIACOVO: Sure you can
KABERLE : GAH! What was that?
SPIRIT OF COLAIACOVO: It's just me, Carlo. Well, it isn't actually me. I'm really a figment of your imagination.
KABERLE : A hallucination?
SPIRIT OF COLAIACOVO: Not really. More like you just replaying stuff over in your head. Look, you've been really lucky so far. You're one of the three people left and you haven't killed anybody. You haven't caused so much as a scratch on another human being.
KABERLE : But I can't possibly kill or hurt another human being
SPIRIT OF COLAIACOVO:You're going to harm another person eventually. Anyone who says they haven't done that in theie lives hasn't lived long enough
KABERLE : But I—
SPIRIT OF COLAIACOVO:I don't care. Kabs, sooner or later, you'll have to get your hands dirty. I know you don't like the sound of it, but you will.
KABERLE : But how do I get through that fear of hurting people?
SPIRIT OF COLAIACOVO: I don't know, but you do. Everything I'm saying is just what you're thinking—I'm not adding anything to your knowledge. You already know what I will say
KABERLE : So I can make you say--
BOTH: Purple monkey Dishwasher.
SPIRIT OF COLAIACOVO:All I can say is good luck, Kabs. (disappears)
KABERLE : I—But—shit.

(On another part of the island, BELL is alone and near psychotic because of lack of sleep and the stress of killing people)
BELL: (out loud) My hands are shaking, may hands are shaking BUT I'M STILL SHOOTING! And I'm STILL GETTING HEAD SHOTS! It's like, BOOM! Headshot! BOOM!! Head shot! BOOM HEADSHOT! (steps into a bear trap) I know this should hurt, but for some reason it doesn't. (BELL takes step forward, dragging the foot in the bear trap, falls into bottomless pit BELL screams loudly)
Bell: AHHHHHHH! wait, is that a unicorn? Cool!

4 Comments:

Dayna said...

Is there a goalie left? I can't remember. If so, can I vote for a goalie to win. They're so under-represented.

Jaredoflondon said...

I don't wanna sound like a queer or nothin'...but I think Unicorns are kick-ass.

Loser Domi said...

@dayna: no,sorry. Bell offed them a while back right after an epic goalie fight.

@jared: you didn't get any mayonnaise from the unicorn, did you? http://crackle.com/c/Extreme/Unicorn_Mayonnaise/1573559

Jaredoflondon said...

Man, am I the only one who saw that movie?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2n2VVTUXHgA

 

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