Tuesday, November 16, 2010

Maple Leafs Chat: Tim Brent, Love Doctor

***Welcome to the Official Chat room of the Toronto Maple Leafs!***
: You guys think that Dion and Colby will like these get-well cards?
Bozak_Attack:  Of course they’ll like ‘em. Do you think this is too much glitter?
KesselRun81Parsecs: Nah, it’s good for glitter. But you might want some more macaroni.
Bozak_Attack:   Well, stop eating it all then!
TimmyBrentron: Guys, why are we the only ones at this card making party?
Bozak_Attack:   I figured more guys would come in. Maybe they just have, like, kids and families and stuff.
KesselRun81Parsecs: Wow, Tim! Your card’s really cool! Is that a popup or something?
TimmyBrentron: Well, technically it’s just a pull tab. See, you pull this tab here, and the little Leafs guy punches Sean Avery in the face!
Bozak_Attack:   That is so awesome! How did you learn to make stuff like that?
TimmyBrentron: Sometimes on road trips I have really bad insomnia. Crafting stuff is a pretty good way to relax me. I used to knit, but airport security kept taking away my needles.
***MaiHartWillDion has entered the chat room!***
MaiHartWillDion: Guys, this sucks. Elisha and I had our first really big fight and she kicked me out.
Bozak_Attack:  Holy shit, you guys had a big fight? Haven’t you two been together like 5 years or something?
TimmyBrentron: And isn’t that your place anyway?
KesselRun81Parsecs: Maybe one of us should check on Elisha…
Bozak_Attack:  No, Phil! I shouldn’t even have to explain to you why that’s a bad idea.
TimmyBrentron: He has a point—you know, two sides to every story and all. Dion, would you be ok with me doing some mediating?
MaiHartWillDion: Well, yeah. I mean, she already kicked my crippled ass out on the cold, dark street—I don’t think you can mess it up any more than I did.
***Welcome to MaiHartWillDion’s place!***
Cuthbert_Island: What do you want?!
TimmyBrentron: Elisha, Dion says he wants to talk, if you’re ok with it. I can be a mediator.
Bozak_Attack:   You sure you know what you’re doing?
TimmyBrentron: I’ve done a lot of reading on this sort of thing.
KesselRun81Parsecs: Really? Why?
TimmyBrentron: You gotta do something on those long bus trips. Ok, now..Dion, how do you feel?
MaiHartWillDion: I kinda feel like an asshole.
Cuthbert_Island: You should feel like an asshole!
TimmyBrentron: Elisha, that’s  not constructive.
Cuthbert_Island: FINE. I feel like…I need some reassurance and more emotional sensitivity. I feel like I need Dion to open up to me more.
MaiHartWillDion: And I feel like I kinda want to do that, but if I open up too much emotionally, then that’s a threat to my masculinity and individuality. But I would like to…
KesselRun81Parsecs: Holy shit…that’s deep.
Bozak_Attack:   Those are a bunch of words I never, ever expected Dion to say.
Cuthbert_Island: Dion…I’m so sorry. I don’t even know why we were fighting.
MaiHartWillDion: I love you baby!
Cuthbert_Island: I love you so much!
***MaiHartWillDion  and Cuthbert_Island have engaged in Sloppy Makeouts!***
TimmyBrentron: Bitchen, it looks like my work here is done.
Bozak_Attack:   Yeah, let’s play some Rock Band or something.
TimmyBrentron: Cool.
KesselRun81Parsecs: Sorry, Dion.


kidkawartha said...

Holy shit, this chat is deep. (spoken with grating Minnesota accent)

Host Pay Per Head said...

It is quite funny that you take that kind of approach to cards that it is the thing that we used to collect when we were kids.


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