Monday, August 30, 2010

Maple Leafs Chat: Not The Beachcombers

photo source:’s-romantic-hawaiian-holiday/
Cuthbert_Island: Oh Dion, it’s so nice to have this little beach getaway before the season gets too crazy.
MaiHartWillDion: Yeah. Being the captain’s gonna be hard work, but I know that if I have you, I can do anything.
Cuthbert_Island: Awww…that’s so sweet!
MaiHartWillDion: Wait a second…who are those guys right over there?
Cuthbert_Island: Don’t worry about them.  They have just as much right to the beach as we do…
MaiHartWillDion: Ah, shit. It’s Mike and Phil. God damn it.
KomiKazi: Hey Dion, Elisha.
KesselRun81Parsecs: HAY GUYZ!
MaiHartWillDion: Hey Mike and Phil. What’s up?
KomiKazi: OK, listen. Sean Avery and I were trying to do a “What Not to Wear” type thing with Phil as our project.
Cuthbert_Island:  Wait, why were you hanging out with Sean Avery?
KomiKazi: We ran into each other the other night, started slinging back Jaegerbombs and Appletinis and it seemed like a good idea at the time. Anyway, we got into an argument and…Sean’s not here.
KesselRun81Parsecs: We had to defend your honor, Elisha!
KomiKazi: No, *I* defended her honor. You just held open the dumpster lid while I dumped in Avery’s bloody body.
Cuthbert_Island: Oh my God, YOU KILLED SEAN AVERY?!
KomiKazi:…I don’t think I did.
KesselRun81Parsecs: Sean said he wanted to open a restaurant called “Sloppy Second Joe’s” and name sandwiches after you two. He said he’d make ‘em “with extra spunk.”
KomiKazi: Yeah, then he dropped a P-bomb and I kinda lost my shit.
MaiHartWillDion: P-bomb?
KesselRun81Parsecs: He called him a Polack, which I never knew was a bad word.
MaiHartWillDion: I thought Polack was that guy that did the dripping paintings.
Cuthbert_Island: You’re thinking of Jackson Pollack, he did the splatter paintings. Polack is a bad word for a Polish person.
KomiKazi: Thank you!  Now you know why I got upset.
MaiHartWillDion: You didn’t kill him, did you? I mean, Avery’s a pesky little shithead to play against, but killing him’s a bit extreme, don’t you think?
KesselRun81Parsecs: Nah, Mike wouldn’t kill him. He’s just not as pretty as he was before, even if he wasn’t so pretty to start with.
KomiKazi: Seriously, you’d think somebody who spent that much time and energy on fashion and appearance would know what works and what doesn’t, but he just puts out a subpar product. I roll out of bed looking this fabulous.
Cuthbert_Island: So why are you two here, then?
KomiKazi: After we ditched Avery, we kinda looked at each other and said “Fuck it, let’s go to the beach.”
Cuthbert_Island: Well…wouldn’t you guys rather go back where you were? It’s all rocky and uncomfortable here.
Cuthbert_Island: /wink, wink
MaiHartWillDion: Nah, Elisha, I got this. Komi, Phil…
KesselRun81Parsecs: Yeah, Dion?
MaiHartWillDion: Continue cockblocking me and I will punch both of you in the throat. Okay?
KomiKazi: Ohhh…hey Phil, let’s uh…get ice cream.
KesselRun81Parsecs: YAAAAAY ICE CREAM!
MaiHartWillDion: See you guys!
Cuthbert_Island: Bye!
KomiKazi: Later!
KesselRun81Parsecs: Hey Mike…was I the only person back there to not whatsits with Elisha?
KomiKazi: Pffft, I was doing the Cuthbert back when it was underground and cool. Now, not only would you be a bandwagon-jumper, Dion would gut you like a fish.
KesselRun81Parsecs: Ah, geez.


sleza said...

"I roll out of bed looking this fabulous."
I can kinda imagine him to say that ;) And it makes me giggle

Honas Joglund said...

I lawl'd. Several times, in fact. Nice.

Loser Domi said...

Sleza, he totally says that, I know it.

Fronus, Thanks for stopping by! Always good to see new people here! said...

Well they deserve the rest but they get back worn out with some many beers and women in the beach.


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