Tuesday, November 18, 2008

Maple Leafs Chat: Vancity/Boston edition



***Welcome to the Official chat room of the Toronto Maple Leafs!***
Chat Archive 15 November, 2008

I__Ron_Butterfly : OK BITCHES I GOT AN IDEA OF HOW TO CREATE A BETTER CULTURE FOR OUR TEAM. I GOT THIS CHORE JAR HERE NOW ALL YOU GUYS TAKE ONE PIECE OF PAPER AND THAT’S YOUR CHORE FOR THE NEXT GAME.
StajanNotCajun: Chore jars are so lame.
Coco_puffs: Lame!
I__Ron_Butterfly : QUIET YOU HOSEHEADS. NOW EVERYONE TAKE A PAPER
*** I__Ron_Butterfly has distributed CHORE_JAR to all the members of the chat room***
Antrobot_80000: “use you huge ass to your advantage”? I thinks I gots that
Rebel_Yell: “Don’t kill anyone, but feel free to rough them up” O…k
Coco_puffs: “Don’t explode”? Are you trying to say something, Ronnie?
Tosking_Heads: “wear retard hat”? what the hell does that mean?
I__Ron_Butterfly : EVERY GAME THERE HAS TO BE THAT ONE LEAF WHO MAKES PEOPLE GO “IS THAT GUY FUCKIN RETARDED?”
White Lightning: Retarded as in, “Let’s Get Retarded” retarded?
I__Ron_Butterfly :NO! RETARDED AS IN LICKING WINDOWS AND RIDING THE SHORT BUS RETARDED
FullSteenAhead: But why do we need the retard player? Can’t all of us, you know, not suck?
I__Ron_Butterfly :THAT’S NOT WHAT I’M TRYING TO DO. EVERY OTHER TEAM IS TRYING TO HAVE ALL THE PLAYERS NOT SUCK. OTHER PEOPLE WILL SEE THAT COMING WE NED TO SURPRISE THEM, CATCH THEM OFF GUARD
Tosking_Heads: Ron, that makes no sense at all
Coco_puffs: That’s quite possibly the worst strategy I have heard
Coco_puffs: Ow! Dammit, I got a paper cut
I__Ron_Butterfly : THAT’LL LEARN YOU BITCH
StajanNotCajun: Please, Ron, you’re scaring me…
Rebel_Yell: I think my ears are ringing

Chat archive: pregame 17 November 2008
I__Ron_Butterfly :OK GUYS CHORE JAR TIME AGAIN
StajanNotCajun: I still say this is still a lame idea
*** I__Ron_Butterfly has distributed CHORE_JAR to all the members of the chat room***
FullSteenAhead: “Don’t explode”. Phew, one I can do
Rebel_Yell: “Retard Hat”? I find this term offensive
White Lightning: I used to get that one all the time, now I just get “don’t kill anyone”
Tosking_Heads: “Use your huge ass to your advantage”. Did you just say I’m fat? Is it these pants ? It’s the pants that make me look fat, isn’t it?
Antrobot_80000:No Tosk is your ass dat makes your ass look big
Coco_puffs: hah, good one
Antrobot_80000: “ Don’t explode” ? He puts in multiples of this one?
I__Ron_Butterfly : MULTIPLE PEOPLE NEED TO STOP EXPLODING ON OUR TEAM
StajanNotCajun: “Stop being such a damn wuss”? Ron—
I__Ron_Butterfly : GAME TIME BITCHES
***Toronto Maple Leafs have entered a game against the Boston Bruins***
***The Boston Bruins have defeated the Toronto Maple Leafs***
I__Ron_Butterfly :TOSKALA GET OVER HERE
Tosking_Heads: Coach, I knows I as not so good—
I__Ron_Butterfly : YOU FRIGGEN SUCKED OUT THERE TONIGHT AND IT WASN’T EVEN YOUR TURN TO WEAR THE RETARD HAT
Tosking_Heads: I guess I sleep on de couch tonight, huh?
I__Ron_Butterfly : YOU MUST EARN SLEEPING ON THE COUCH YOU GET TO SLEEP UNDER THE COUCH JUST FOR THE RYDER GOAL
Tosking_Heads: But coach, what about the defence and –
I__Ron_Butterfly : UNDER THE COUCH
Tosking_Heads: I has a sad now…
*** Tosking_Heads is under the couch**
Tosking_Heads: cool! I found a Starburst till in the wrapper under here! That means it’s still good right?
I__Ron_Butterfly : GIVE ME THAT!
I__Ron_Butterfly: /takes Starburst
I__Ron_Butterfly : CURTIS JOSEPH WOULD APPRECIATE THIS MUCH MORE THAN YOU
*** I__Ron_Butterfly has left the room***
Tosking_Heads: Never have the words of simple Plan been so accurate for Toskala…
World_of_Raycroft: Welcome to my world...

4 Comments:

Drake said...

Wow...I laughed until I cried! Absolutely hilarious! Thanks for making the disappointment a little more bearable.

I have a feeling the next chore Tosking_Heads will draw is "warm the bench."

OMGWTFTML said...

"Use your huge ass to your advantage" is one Crosby could really utilize.

EastLoop said...

hahahah so awesome
i was actually just wondering when you would write another one of these!

-EastLoop

eyebleaf said...

You have outdone yourself. Again.

 

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